A Meaning To Our Fairytale Endings

If we were to paint the stereotypical story of a prince and a princess, I think many of us would agree on a few key elements that are to be included. I have found at least three: the prince must search far and wide for the castle in which the princess is in, he must face and slay the dragon guarding the castle, and he must climb the tallest tower to reach her. Only then is he worthy of her love. These stories are countless and sometimes a bit too cheesy for my tastes, but I have begun to find wisdom that can well be applied from such fairy tales.

The journey to find the castle is the journey every man must take to not only "find" the appropriate companion but to find himself. There is so much out in the world that seeks to distract, desensitize, demoralize, and desecrate the duty of a man and his purpose. But as he matures and takes wise steps in the right direction it will not be long until he finds the castle where his princess awaits.

But we all know that is not even half of the story. No, the prince must reluctantly charge the castle knowing full well what lies ahead waiting for him. It is an enemy that has taken hundreds and thousands, even millions, of men before him. It is the castle's fiercest guardian–the dragon. The dragon represents the pride of man and all of the transgressions committed by him. The greater the mistakes and sins a man has committed, the greater the dragon he must face. No prince/knight is allowed to simply walk up the tower and kiss the princess, no, not one! The ones who think they have remain a victim of his own illusions spawned from the depths of his very pride. No, he must fight and he knows this. That is why more and more men are not even reaching this part of the story where they even find the castle, because they know too well what lies ahead. But every great inspiring legend is a story that tells you just what CAN happen if you make those good choices. The prince WILL conquer if he wills it so! Such a victory is written in myriads of books, but why have so many fallen before this dragon? I think the greater question would be, "is pride really so destructive and debilitating?" Indeed it is. And few are those who are able to overcome the portion necessary to slay the enemy that stands before him and his awaiting princess. Nevertheless, if he wills it so, defeat him he will.

After defeating the dragon the climax and greatest victory of the story has been reached, even without yet reaching the princess. How? Because to overcome oneself is to pluck and taste a bit of heaven—it is the very purpose of our being here and the example that Christ has shown us. Yet, the knight's journey continues from here. He must now climb the tallest tower and unlock the door where the princess awaits for him. He is exhausted, he is sore, but the last steps he must take are essential as they continually spiral upward. Why? Because man cannot be happy if man does not progress. Progress is the very purpose of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father declared in Moses 1:39 that His work and His glory is to progress us. Therefore we cannot become happy like Him if we do not progress. Likewise, we cannot possibly be fit to meet the needs of an eternal companion if we are too busy focusing on our own selves. That is one reason why I think we "knights" are ordained the priesthood. The only way we can truly progress is to serve others in a pure and rightful way. Yes, it is true that in order for both a man and a woman to reach the highest order of progression they must be sealed together in the House of God. But only when a man has advanced himself high enough in the order of the priesthood is he able to reach the door of the temple and unlock it through his worthiness. When the knight enters the tower of the princess, he is, without a doubt, taken back by the breathtaking beauty that radiates from her as a daughter of God. And she loves him not for his handsome features or his worldly attributes, but rather because she knows that he literally went through all of hell to reach her so that, together, they may make way back Home to heaven.

Now I'd like to think there is a justifiable woman's version to this story that fits with the principles of the gospel as well. A woman sitting around in a tower waiting for a guy to sweep her off her feet is a practice that is neither supported by our priesthood leaders nor desirable for a man to pursue. Most men won't love and respect a woman for who she is solely because she feels entitled through her feminism, beauty, or readiness to marry. There is work to be done and battles to be won on both sides of the spectrum. But again, these silly fairy tales actually carry with them some eternal wisdom that I believe can be well applied.

I'd like to think that the tower itself, where the princess awaits in these stories, are built with the strongest stones and mortar representing the virtue of a woman. Like the tower, a woman's virtue cannot be broken through without her willing it so. That virtue protects her from the world of men and women who see her as anything less than the daughter of God she is. Within that tower she is better able to focus on her divine attributes as a woman and develop them through prayer, through study, and through faith. Too many have stepped out of that tower, tired of patiently waiting for that prince. They want to make themselves more visible and known to the world—to feel more appreciated and to be more available. Too many have stepped out of that tower, locked themselves out, and never returned again. Virtue is a gift from God and should be protected and kept sacred always. The tower is a protection for both the woman and the man from receiving things that neither are ready or worthy yet to receive. (See annotation 1)

The height of the tower, I like to think, has significance too. It is the standards to which a woman should keep herself to. It goes hand in hand with the structure of the tower/virtue because a woman's standards can be no higher than she has strength/virtue to build upon. To put it another way, the stronger a woman's virtue the higher her standards become. Why is this important? We are ALL here to become like our Heavenly Father and return home to Him. To help us on our journey we have been given the Savior's example and His atoning sacrifice. We have been given prophets, apostles, bishops, fathers, etc. But more abundant upon this earth are the many women whose beauty and virtue stir in men's hearts the desire to be more righteous. Maybe it's just me and I'm being too old-fashioned, but every good and virtuous woman has possessed a beauty that simply made me want to be a better man. That is why the tower has to be tall! It takes work! Men that get things for free become corrupt and evil. Just look at what welfare systems or gambling does! (See annotation 2) But men who have to work hard for their desires receive joy, satisfaction, and blessings. Likewise, a man that works hard to raise his standards to meet the woman of his dreams will be better qualified to love, appreciate, and protect her.

Protection is a key attribute and one sought after in men by most women throughout all generations. If a woman is to leave her tower she should feel that her standards and the virtue she possesses will continue to be protected. But I want to point out that physical features and money can only provide and protect so much, yet, is too often the characteristics most sought for. It is the spiritual protection that a woman should seek in a man and those things can be just as visible, if not more, if her eyes are spiritual (D&C 131:7-8). These are characteristics and attributes that the priesthood of God help a man to obtain and/or develop.

The last symbolic fairytale feature I want to highlight is the door inside the tower to the room in which the princess awaits. This is THE most difficult step of the process for both the prince and the princess. Every step the prince has taken to reach the castle, to slay the dragon, to climb the staircase has all been without the assurance that he would receive the princesses' love. And all the time spent by the princess to also develop her gifts and talents and protect her virtue is without the assurance the she will feel love for the man who knocks on the door of her heart. That is why there is a door—a choice. A door or choice for the prince to move past all of his fears and take that last step and knock. A door for the princess to choose to move past all of her doubts and respond or not. But once the door is opened, once that chance is taken, even if things don't work out the way either of them hoped for or imagined, there is no regrets because there is nothing left to do. When all that we do is done, God handles the rest in His own time and in His own way. My bet is, though, that if both have put in as much work as is to be expected of a prince and a princess, they will, like the rest of the fairytale endings, live happily ever after.

(1) There are many examples of men who have been given that which Moroni declares to be most dear and precious, "chastity and virtue". There are many women who have left their towers to be more seen and received by men or who have kept the door to the tower locked after a worthy man has come. The fruits of their actions show and, unless they change their behaviors, they will be cast off as Jacob has prophesied in Jacob 5:32, 42, 69, 77.

(2) When we receive things that we are not ready for it have not earned through our choices, we bear a high risk of corruption and self limitation. Heavenly Father's plan of happiness includes an absolute key principle that must be kept in order for the plan to work—that key is our agency. Coupled with that agency is the divine principle of consequence. As Newton observed, for every action there is an equal (not necessarily similar) and opposite reaction. We are to live in a world where we make choices and observe the consequences of those choices. More than often those consequences do not immediately follow our choices (or they are not as spiritually discerned because of the veil before our eyes). God leaves it to our spiritual leaders and our political leaders to enforce the consequences to our actions that we may learn. But what happens when these things are not enforced or done so perfectly? Well, the spiritual consequences will always follow regardless, but often times the man or woman becomes deceived into thinking that their choices do not bear the consequences they may have thought would follow.

Here's a good example of this. Think of the men who we have seen as "players", "tools", "cocky", or whatever other slang that has been applied. I wonder if those men would act in such a way of the women they associated with would not have been so "giving" of their virtue and chastity. I'm not strictly speaking of sex but of all forms of affection. If all a man has to do is look a certain way, have a certain amount of money, say a certain thing, or act like a total jerk and he still gets a girl's affection, then he bears the risk of deceiving himself into thinking that working hard and respecting a woman really doesn't pay off in the end.

But when is the end? It makes a significant difference to see the end as the end of life instead of the end of this chapter of eternity.

(3) Adam was alone for a certain period of his life. We do not know why God had him live alone for this period and then tell him that it is not good for man to be alone. Why didn't he just create Eve first and explain it later? It seems that God wanted Adam to understand how it feels to be alone. As Adam was put to sleep so are all men, in a way, asleep until a woman comes into our lives and awakens our faculties. Hence the famous saying, "I've never felt so alive when I'm with her".

Integrity— The Gateway to Freedom

If you don't possess a set of true moral standards and honest principles in your life you WILL be pushed around and cornered until you feel your life losing control. Isn't that the freedom that Satan advertises, do what you want and YOLO around from one satisfaction to the next? 

In a talk by James E. Faust in the April 1982 General Conference, “the dictionary defines integrity as a firm adherence to a code of moral values (see Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary). It connotes soundness and incorruptibility. It is the mother of many virtues. It begins when we deal justly with ourselves.”

Basically integrity is doing what you say you will do and having those desires to keep your commitments. How does Satan rob us of our integrity? Not by getting us to break our commitments, but by not getting us to commit at all. If we don't commit to a principle or action or a good habit then we don't even have the AGENCY to choose to remain committed to such a cause when the temptation arrives  to do otherwise.

Take relationships, for an example, as marriage rates have been drastically declining and cohabitation rates inclining. When a couple decides to cohabitate they agree on a few things to do together in mutual benefit. But in the moment problems arise and their affection for one another challenged, what is to stop one or the other from walking out of the relationship? Sure, we still have a CHOICE and our agency is technically still existent, but our integrity isn't compromised because it was never challenged in the first place. If you aren't committed to any moral values or principles then you aren't committed to being honest with yourself and with others—the core of integrity. And if we live a life without commitment then we will be “tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive” (Ephesians 4:14).

As Latter-Day Saints we make covenants with God beginning at baptism because we understand that doing good is not happenstance, becoming clean from our sins is not something a person stumbles upon, and returning to God's Kingdom in heaven does not come by chance. Every good thing this life and the next has to offer is received through hard honest work. “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated” (D&C 130:20-21).

We as Latter-Day Saints understand that we often make mistakes and break our covenants with God—we sin. But our covenants do not become invalid when we make mistakes, rather, the blessings upon which those covenants are predicated simply cannot be obtained in that time. This is why we recommit ourselves each week by partaking of the sacrament and renewing our covenants/promises to God. If we are being sincere and truly repenting of our sins then that ordinance (sacrament) will be enough to cleanse us and invigorate us to continue to strive for perfection. Jesus Christ has already paved the way to take control of our lives and be free from the clutches of sin.

So how does Satan rob us of our integrity? He doesn't want us to commit. He wants us to believe that we can still do good by not committing ourselves to a good cause, thus leading us carefully away from truth (2 Nephi 28:21-23). Maybe he even gets us to commit outwardly but inwardly our hearts are not broken nor our spirits contrite 2 Nephi 2:7). As Christ teaches us in Mosiah 7:33, “But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.”

So let us stop hating ourselves and start loving our God. Let us commit our minds and our hearts to His gospel, which gospel lays out all the laws upon which blessings and happiness (both temporally and spiritually) are predicated. Let us commit to being honest with ourselves and with others that we may control the course of our lives and NOT be tossed to and fro. Let us have integrity which IS the mother of many virtues and brings the sincere closer to God. Let us “remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall” (Helaman 5:12). 

Fear of Silence

We are afraid of silence. We are so used to the sound of noise that any changes to that medium is disturbing to us.

I remember when I was just a boy I went with my dad to work at the construction site. We left somewhere between 5-6 a.m. and I hadn't slept very much the previous night. My dad dropped me off and showed me all that I had to do before he would come back to pick me up later that day. Of course I was tired but soon was hammering, digging, drilling, sawing, and accompanying the other workers in a variety of tasks. It was loud, just like it typically is when renovating a house. When I completed what my dad had asked me to do I still had about an hour and a half for him to arrive at the site. Even though the other workers continued their own separate tasks I sought to take advantage of the hour and a half I would have to wait and try to sleep a bit. At first it was uncomfortable and it seemed impossible with the clanking of nails, the cutting of wood, and Spanish phrases being shouted off between workers across the site. But I was so focused on how tired I was that my mind soon took the surrounding noise and built a resistance to the stimulation. In other words, I tuned out the noise from my consciousness and was able to fall asleep. The interesting part is that at noon everyone had stopped and gone on break for lunch. When that happened a new stimulation in my mind woke me up and I was once again uncomfortable—it was silent.

Although this parable is not flawless the lesson it has taught me is; it is that we have grown to be uncomfortable and afraid of silence. The world we live in is so full of noise and distraction, both physically and spiritually, and our minds and spirits have grown a resistance to those stimulations tuning them out of our consciousness. The things most of us are doing day-to-day are drowning us with so much "noise" and we are becoming "drunk" with it all. As Isaiah 51:17 states, "thou hast drunken the dregs of the cup of trembling (another word for fear), and wrung them out". In other words we are so caught up with filling ourselves with empty and temporary pleasures that we are addicted to the point of drinking even the dregs, or in other words, the sediments and worst part of the wine. We can't get enough of what we are drinking because what we are drinking leaves us feeling even more thirsty, so we keep pouring to quench our thirsts! The prophet Amos has even prophesied that "in [our] day shall the fair virgins and young men faint for thirst." (Amos 8:13) What do we thirst for? More noise.

We are stretching the noise in our lives to cover our "trembling", fear, shame, or nakedness. The latest trends of sports, social media, phones, music, movies, thrill-seeking, vanity, excessive sleeping, overeating, video-games, texting, mindless arguments, ridiculing, and "loud-laughter" are some of the countless ways we can be introducing noise into our lives and that is only the beginning. When a conversation hits a dead end we grow uncomfortable. When another person stands next to us in the elevator or aisle in the grocery store we look the other way (or at our phone). When we finish a task or have nothing to "do" we create another one or simply watch a movie to "kill time". When we are alone and surrounded by the aggressive sound of silence we turn on the music and scroll through the endless stories of what the world is talking about, laughing about, criticizing, blaming, degrading, mocking, ridiculing, and so forth. We build up walls around us thinking that the reality of the world is best understood within them. We are afraid of silence.

Why are we afraid of silence? Because we should be. Like what happened to me at the construction site when I was sleeping, the stimulating change of our surrounding environment awakens us. Just how I awoke to the relatively new sound of quietness, we are awakened to our conscious (self) and realize just how naked, vulnerable, afraid, and unprepared we really are. We have surrounded ourselves with unholy practices and are worshipping idols and false gods, namely in the form of our daily activities. God's fury is hanging over us like a sword. "And it shall come to pass, saith the Father, that the sword of my justice shall hang over them at that day; and except they repent it shall fall upon them, saith the Father, yea, even upon all the nations of the Gentiles." (3 Nephi 20:20) He is angry, not because He hates us, but because He loves us and we have turned our back on His Son and the sacrifice He has made on our behalf. He has blessed us to live in a land (even the Promise Land) of which we are able to enjoy a myriad of freedoms, yet, we have abused it into polluting ourselves with "entertainment" and unproductive behaviors.

When silence creeps in we find a way to push it back out and make more noise because, hey, "I can't sleep with all of this silence!" Even literally, in my own room, the air-conditioning unit runs all night because both my roommate and I have grown so accustomed to the humming of the machine, we would have a hard time sleeping with it off! We all prefer the specific noise we are individually used to because it "rocks" us to sleep and gives us a false sense of security (pun intended).

Silence is the only medium through which the Spirit speaks. Of course even in silence we must still fine-tune our ears to the Lord, but it can only be done after we have turned all of the specific noise in our individual lives OFF whatever that may be. I am certain that there are obvious things that are distractions and fill up our lives with nothing but short-lived pleasure and, eventually, dissatisfaction. These are easier to spot and recognize as some of the noise that can be eliminated from our lives. Some of these may include drugs, gambling, substance abuse, pornography, riotous living, or any other form of severely addictive behaviors. But for many of us we need to be made aware of the hundreds of smaller things that altogether create a sort of static in our hearts and minds. Some of these things may even be good behaviors that that have taken precedence over that which is more important. 

I find it fascinating that despite all of the disaster, calamity, destruction, and terror the Nephites and Lamanites experienced in the events leading to 3 Nephi chapter 11, they still had to first tune out their emotional, psychological, physical, and spiritual noise in order to hear the voice of God:

“3 And it came to pass that while they were thus conversing one with another, they heard a voice as if it came out of heaven; and they cast their eyes round about, for they understood not the voice which they heard; and it was not a harsh voice, neither was it a loud voice; nevertheless, and notwithstanding it being a small voice it did pierce them that did hear to the center, insomuch that there was no part of their frame that it did not cause to quake; yea, it did pierce them to the very soul, and did cause their hearts to burn.

 4 And it came to pass that again they heard the voice, and they understood it not.

 5 And again the third time they did hear the voice, and did open their ears to hear it; and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came.”

There is a voice everyday that calls for us to come unto Christ. It begs for us to "come unto [Him], all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and [He] will give [us] rest" (Matthew 11:28). And what are we laboring for every day? Is it for more noise? Is it for more things that "lull us away into carnal security"? (2 Nephi 28:21) Is it to "escape", get high, or be "free"? Christ knows that true labor in His gospel is NOT labor that makes us "heavy laden" but truly free—free in the sense that we are awakened and made aware of our "nakedness" (2 Nephi 9:14) and brings us to humility. We cannot be made aware and be awakened and be free without listening to the Spirit. We cannot hear the Spirit if we are surrounded by noise. We must learn to grow accustomed to silence in our lives and even invite silent moments for us to meditate and pray. The holiest and most recollected people I have studied about, no matter what their religion, knew the vital significance of silence and prayer in their life; people like Muhammad, Ghandi, Isaiah, Joseph Smith, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King Jr., and ultimately Christ himself. Could we not seek to filter out the static of everyday living and invite the Spirit to be our constant companion and guide?

Let us seek to create sacred places, holy moments, and spiritual silence in our lives. Let us look to our temples which are the models of the type of environment that harbors the presence and power of the Holy Ghost. This I know to be true because my God hath revealed it to me. I stand fully accountable for what I have written and bear my witness that it is true according to that which I have been given to know. I bear my witness in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Voice of The Spirit

Paths of Gratitude

Proverbs 3:6 states, "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." The more I have made a sincere effort to recognize the Hand of the Lord in all things (whether I counted them as blessings or challenges) the more my attitude towards other people has been positively changed and uplifted, both as individuals and collectively. I began by thanking Heavenly Father for small things, as small and simple of blessings as I could recognize and count; such as, for a house, a variety of food, a pillow, a bed, carpet floors, shoes, clothes, toothpaste, q-tips. cleaners, glass windows, swinging doors, couches, electric lights, heaters/air-conditioners, ink pens, clocks, chairs, water, trees, beaches, stars, crunchy leaves, moth dust, and the list would continue on. By recognizing these things as blessings I began to feel a change in perspective. I felt (feel) the significance I felt I had as an individual in the world shrink. I felt (feel) the weight of so many blessings I did not before recognize grow, insomuch that it became difficult to imagine how I could have taken so many of these small and simple things for granted.

As I continued this practice I realize that I began thanking Heavenly Father for spiritual blessings and gifts that He has given me. As stated in Proverbs, the Lord truly began to “direct [my] paths” by revealing unto me the gifts and talents I carried. It is especially difficult to recognize our gifts and talents in a world and culture of endless competition and narrow-minded criticism. “How is my gift or talent good for anything?” “There are so many other people that can do it better than me.” “There’s nothing special or different about what I have”. These and a combination of faithless and selfish ways of rationalizing can most certainly lead us in the very direction the slothful servant took in the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:15-30). By at least striving to be grateful for what I had been given the Lord has helped me to understand that He does not expect or even want me to be the absolute best with those gifts and talents. He only requires that we take what He has given us and develop them further for the purpose of inviting His light and love in the lives of those around us.

By now my gratitude has developed into something much more intimate and personal than I had ever imagined. I had begun giving thanks to God for my challenges and weaknesses. I distinctly remember some nights where actually admitting this would hurt and feel sickening. But that fear and self-pity, every single time, has been replaced with love and understanding. I have learned that without our weakness we cannot possibly learn to become like God and overcome evil. In describing who I am I can list all of the traits, talents, and beliefs that I carry to all who ask. But it is impossible to truly reveal my character without revealing the weaknesses and severe challenges I have had to overcome and still fight to recognize and defeat. I know this scripture is commonly quoted in Latter-Day Saint culture, but it rarely can be stated in better words. “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me [or in other words, if men recognize my Hand in all the aspects of their lives], and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27, emphasis added).

This past year since last Thanksgiving has been developmentally blessed as I have continued that practice of expressing my gratitude to my Counselor and King. I have now been developing a greater discernment in seeing the true hearts of others. As my love for all the things I have recognized God has given me and surrounded me with has increased, God has slowly been pouring out this love (refined by Him) back into my heart. That love has had no other key or purpose than to be used towards others. I surely cannot claim to be a man of great love or exceptional judgment towards others. But I do recognize a steady progression towards achieving that love insomuch that I have great faith that I will be able to achieve it. My recognizing and giving thanks to God for the myriad of small and simple things has allowed me to recognize how the small and simple things in others has so much potential to be as great and even greater than God has given me to see and appreciate. How, then, can we not love one another when there is so much in them to be excited to see grow and wonderful to witness in achieving?! Certainly, more than ever, I wish to express my sincere gratitude for God’s children—all of them. I am grateful for the ones we commonly perceive as good, magnificent, and extraordinary as well as the ones we commonly perceive as bad, malicious, and mundane. We are not given the keys nor the capacity to judge the human race, yet we act like we do. Doctrine and Covenants 64:10 states that “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” Forgiving all men most certainly included those who may not have even offended us directly. It may most certainly include those who have not even existed in our lifetime whom the history books, or even scriptures, quote and brand as the most evil and worst of men. No, as I have learned to carry a greater spirit of gratitude with me I am certain that God has helped me to see that it is possible and even wonderfully uplifting to forgive all men. That very forgiveness brings us all closer to one another in so intense a love that “Satan has no power (...) for he hath no power over the hearts of the people, for they dwell in righteousness, and the Holy One of Israel reigneth” (1 Nephi 22:26).

Thanksgiving has been, and most likely always will, be my favorite American holiday strictly because it carries with its name the impression of giving thanks. It is by this principle that we learn to be more humble disciples of Jesus Christ and serve one another more effectively. It is my opinion that gratitude is the heaviest anchor and greatest manifestation of the doctrine of hope. Through the changes that have been made and the path of so much painful and wonderful change ahead of me, I bear my witness that gratitude can be the safest ship to cross the most turbulent and tumultuous seas of envy, anger, strife, entitlement, and selfishness. I know that gratitude is the most effective way to be aware of our environmental, social, psychological, and spiritual surroundings. “Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen” (Alma 26:37).

Music—The First and Last Note

"The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth."
- Doctrine & Covenants 93:36

Music is an element that every human being has been able to connect to in one way or another. It was composer Ludvig Van Beethoven who directed that "music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy", the Greek philosopher Plato who taught that "music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue", and the well known writer, Maya Angelou, who wrote that "music was [her] refuge where  '[she] could crawl into the space between the notes and curl [her] back to loneliness.'"

Music in so many levels acts as an escape—a refuge for the downtrodden, the sick, and the weary of souls. But today it has become more prevalent that the minds that wander into the realms of dreams, hope, expression, and connection become comfortably lost and fail to reconnect their hearts and minds with reality.

Music has been such an intimate part of my life that it would seem impossible to describe my character without describing the transitions I have made in the music medium. My mother's choice of music was always modest and appropriate, so the impact she has had on my heart and mind is calculable. But as we all do when we grow up, I began making my own choices and those choices reflected more of the wisdom and thoughtful consideration of a teenage boy than of myself today. The point is I was as vibrant and easily influenced as the rest of my friends and surrounding peers. I felt the excitement of pop, rap, hip-hop, electronic, rock, punk, heavy-metal, etc. I regret that my mind was so easily influenced that it has skimmed well below the surface of all these genres and more. I remember straightly thinking that there really could be no better kind of music than what I had. It seemed to be able to fit every change of mood and emotion a teenager experiences in life. When the outside world and everyone around could not comprehend my inner trials and conflicts, music, no matter how harsh and explicit it can be, had me understood well.

Something would always be missing. I could only play the beats and chords of Dionysian (worldly) concern for so long until my eardrums grew bored and weary. By then it was only a matter of waiting for the "next new hit" to arrive in which it seemed everyone would conform their listening to, talk about, dance to, and criticize. Until then, I remember so well, (almost like a whisper) I would discover the realms of baroque, classical, romantic, and spiritual music theory. Listening to music as a teenager for me could very well be mentally illustrated as a room full of dominos. Each are proportioned and placed so perfectly beside one another as if to irritate the mind and tempt your impulses to knock any one over and watch the chaos unravel itself. But soon after the chaos is over and the excitement gone, you are still left unsatisfied at the mess before your eyes. The struggle between listening to good and bad music was a matter of satisfying a thirst (or need even) for conflict. I was a seesaw standing in the middle between a dependence upon the first notes of the radio and a desire to draw near the last notes of the forgotten wonders. Very much so was this in likeness to almost all stuggles I have consciously undergone.

Somewhere in the struggle I recognized and felt the need to make some very vital changes—changes in my thinking and behavior towards my life and towards all within it. The most difficult part of the process is that I did not, nor could not, fathom the influence and power that music had upon my thinking and feeling at that time. It was like trying to plant crops in the winter, swim through a rip current, or have an intimate conversation in the middle of a battlefield—the conditions I was putting myself in was in opposition to my desires. It's only recently (now) as I've been able to reflect upon those teenage experiences, that I realize why one of the very first promptings I received (after I had read the Book of Mormon for the first time) was to eliminate any and all negative influences in my life. I wasn't told what or where to begin, but as I seriously pondered upon the matter the absolute first thing that came to my mind was music.

Letting go of "bad"¹ music was and has been like cleaning an oil spill in an ocean of vast proportion. The longer I had held on and waited to let go of certain artists, songs, or even genres, the more the influence and effects would spread into various parts of my thinking. I needed to act swiftly and decisively. Initially I did. I threw away whole collections of CDs and songs that were blatantly and explicitly "bad"¹. But the most difficult part of the process was letting go of the artists and songs I didn't initially think were explicitly "bad"¹ to listen to. They leaned more towards "in-the-middle" upon the spectrum of my thinking and judgment at the time. Needless to go into further details, the changes I made at that point of my life marked the beginning of a diversity of changes I had made and continue to make now. My personality, my beliefs, my passions, my character, all of which were and are revealed, defined, discovered, and chiseled respectively, because of the choices I made and make marked by the day I decided to choose to listen to "better"¹ music.

Till this day I still struggle to make a firm judgment and decision on what I listen to. But I have come a relatively long way from merely seeking out what complimented the array of emotions, thoughts, and attitudes that were more imposed upon me to seeking that which uplifts, inspires, and edifies good, wholesome thinking. In the realm of music the question for me is no longer if whether or not what I'm listening to is "bad". The question I begin to ask myself is if there is something even better and more uplifting than what I have. It's a matter of taking the next right step. In this matter the Lord did not expect me to know immediately the kinds of music that would have a detrimentally more positive influence upon my thinking and feeling. But He did expect me to act upon the assurances I had been given—assurances that I needed to change the influences around me to conform to my inner desires lest I jeopardize my way into utter confusion and chaos. I made mention earlier in this article that the struggle between listening to good and bad music was a matter of satisfying a thirst for conflict. Listening to both seemed to quench every natural and spiritual desire I carried. It seems we all participate in this struggle in one form or another—the struggle to fulfill. But as the Lord has taught us lovingly, we can eliminate any and all unrighteous thirsts if we admit (recognize), with the judgement given to each of us, that our wants and "needs" may not be what He knows is best for us. "Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.”²

I testify that the power to change is real. The Atonement of Jesus Christ brings so much peace and understanding to the human soul. It is a gift that is offered freely unto all who are willing to partake of such blessings as the one I attempted to illustrate in this article. I can attribute many experiences and choices to my knowledge and understanding of the Savior and His teachings. But music will always be the key that marked the beginning of an onset of vital changes in my youth. It is only now, with a few years of perpective, that I am able to write about such changes with so much gratitude and joy for my Savior. I have testified, and will forever testify, that in this respect had I decided to ignore the promptings to seek out better music (and other influences) I would not have the understanding and appreciation and love for "good" music today. My brothers and sisters, the Earth is filled to the brim with treasures. There is milk and honey without price in which we all may experience and partake if we but place our faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and OBEY the teachings and commandments He gives us. But we will miss all of these blessings and remain blind to the pearls and deaf to the melodies that inspire and carry our souls back to Him save we deny ourselves of all ungodliness and obey His word. For me, now the struggle in selecting "good" music is leaning towards choosing what is better and best amongst what I have formerly judged as merely "good". With God it is always about progression and about taking the next right step amongst the sands of eternal perspective. I know we all have the capacity to make such choices and I bear my witness that the fruits of such courage and intimate decision is sweet above all. Although they may not come immediately, they ALWAYS come at the right time. May you listen to the melodic voice of the spirit within you and have the courage to find the notes in this world that conform more and more to the righteous needs and desires of your soul, is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.



Endnotes:

1. If you notice, I am placing the word "bad" and "better" in quotations to signify the relative meaning it held and holds with me. These were/are artists and songs that I had judged to be against the conduct and attitude I strive(d) to obtain and carry in order to triumph over personal struggles and self-inflicted pain. I am not trying to sound neutral in the matter. I stand firmly in believing that there is good and bad music just as certain as I am that there is righteous and evil works throughout all the world. But relative to the time I was making those changes and even until now, what I judge to be "bad" is guided by the allowance of the Spirit of God I invite and permit to reside within me. Others may judge differently which is acceptable to me. But my point in addressing this matter is to affirm that we will all one day stand before God and give account to the choices we had made in direct accordance to the knowledge and understanding and light we ALL have been given as tools to judge between good and evil works (including choices such as the one illustrated in this article).

2. see Moroni 10:32.
See also: “Deny Yourselves of All Ungodliness” NEAL A. MAXWELL Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

Silencing The Voices

Early Saturday morning of September 22 I had an opportunity to do something I had never done before. Brigham Young University - Idaho was hosting a relay race for all students, staff, alumni, and fellow citizens to run from the Rexburg, Idaho Temple to the Idaho Falls, Idaho Temple, a race that would course through a 37.2 mile stretch. We were all given the option to form a standard team of 8, 4, or even 2 to split the legs of the race up and even out the distance between each runner. For the first time to take place here, one other man and I thought to do the whole race by ourselves.

I was originally planning on running with a group of great friends for only a 2.4 mile stretch. But as I was training for it the thought came to my mind that I had the opportunity to practice a principle I strongly believe in; that as children of God, we can do ANYTHING we put our hearts, minds, and faith towards. So, around the first mile of the first day of my training I decided to put my own words to action and run the whole race by myself. I wasn't seeking to increase my status or self-worth, nor was I attempting to find more respect from the people around me. I simply wanted to seize the opportunity to live the principles I teach and further teach what I know we all can live.

I had about three weeks to train for this race and I had NO clue how to even train for it! I am an avid runner and love the thrill of beating the ground like a stallion and breathing out fire from the lungs' furnacing energy. But I had never run more than 10 miles prior and typically find more joy in 3-5 miles routes. As the days were drawing nearer, the 37 mile race, to me, seemed to be getting longer. One week before the race I ran for just over 15 miles and I was exhausted—drained from the two hours it took me to finish that course. I had then realized that this run was going to be a much greater challenge for me mentally than it would be physically.

During that 15 mile training run I kept hearing myself trying to find an excuse to back out of actually doing it. I stopped a few times due to my knees becoming swollen and sore, I developed a case of plantar fasciitis (a muscle strain/tear in the arch of the foot), and due to the two hour length of the run my mind was growing weary and bored. In addition I kept hearing the voice of others repeating in my head that I needed to train longer and be better prepared for something as extreme as this; most people would prepare for several months just to run in a marathon (26.2 miles). I kept hearing that I would only last as far as 20 miles or that I would give into the pain in my foot or knees. But above all, the most distinguished and present voice was that of my own uncertainty of accomplishing something I had never even come close to doing before. I was stuck battling with my mind and the sincere belief that I could do it anyway—that my heart was all I needed to cross the finish line.

The relay began at 7:10 A.M. and I was already running on just four hours of sleep. Through the course of the night before I kept hearing several voices of doubt and reason clamoring in my head mixed with a small voice of will and faith—all seemingly from different parts of the same me. But now I was standing just feet away from the starting line, my headphones planted in my ears, listening to "Hope of Israel", one of my favorite running hymns. Despite the sun not even having risen yet, things were looking bright as I was well on my way.

Good uplifting music, water, and a conversation with my Heavenly Father were key elements throughout the longest stretch I've ever encountered. The good music elevated my thinking towards greater and more important things; the water not only hydrated my body but kept me feeling alive, even in pain and trial; and prayers to God—well, they were personal, but vital to every single step I took. All those voices of doubt, fear, discouragement, and uncertainty had no chance to even interfere. From the moment I took the first step it was only a matter of taking the next right step.

I ran all 37.2 miles and finished that race in 6 hours and 18 minutes, over a half-hour faster than my predicted time. It has been by far the greatest mental achievement I have seen myself accomplish thus far. People began asking me and still ask me how I did it and how I consider this more of a mental achievement than a physical one. Before I took that first step, I had to decide whether or not I was fully committed or if I would still retain those doubtful or fearful voices in my head. But I realize that the commitment had to be made far before the race even began, not at the starting line. With certainty I know that, had I waited until then to decide, the adversary himself would have had enough room in my head to stretch out his arms and legs upon every corner of my heart and mind.


I learned a valuable lesson in this race that connects directly to some thoughts I've been having about our perception of who we think we really are. I wouldn't have shared this experience at all had I not felt the prompting to expound upon this further and allow others a chance to perhaps receive enlightenment from Heavenly Father. "Who am I?" is a question the entire world as an individual struggles to understand and ask themselves more often. We are born into the world without the slightest clue of who we are or where we came from. Most of what we believe ourselves to be is what our parents, friends, and the influential people around us fed us from the time since we were toddlers until even now. When asked if we are smart, pretty, athletic, musically-inclined, thoughtful, a good listener, outgoing, perceptive, spiritual, etc. we tend to base our answers upon a plethora of conditioned responses we received our whole lives. For example, someone who has been told they are pretty their whole life may very well believe that they are pretty while someone who has been told they are ugly, or who has been neglected of constructive words, may very well believe themselves to be ugly. In our world where things contrast from black and white, we have to make judgments based upon the wisdom and heart God has given us. But I have has to ask myself, "who decides the superiority/inferiority of others?" For example, are there more physically attractive people than others? Of course! or so our perception tells us. So it seems more and more that our judgments of others must be based upon WHERE our perception lies. If our perception lies upon the things that we physically see and hear and experience (empirical input), then we should recognize that there are limitations to those perceptions just as the physical world is limited. But if our minds were to penetrate into all things eternal—the spiritual world, then all things we can see will be as they truly are. As C.S. Lewis explained, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” So maybe the question is not really so much, "who is pretty and who is not?" Maybe the question should be more guided into the realm of, "how can I find the beauty in everyone I meet?" Is it harder to find beauty in some people more than others? Of course! or so our perception tells us. We have to remember that we live in a finite world as infinite beings around us. There are millions of distractions and traps set by the adversary to lead us into being carnally minded. We have to remember that as Nephi taught "...to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal" (2 Nephi 9:39). So when we depend upon other's views and perceptions of who we are to determine our identity, we play the very game that Jesus warned us about in Matthew 15:14 of letting the blind lead the blind.

What does this have to do with my 37 mile journey from Rexburg to Idaho Falls? Among the myriad of voices surrounding me, that run was all about WHOSE voice I decided I would listen to more. Before we came to this Earth we, the chosen generation by God's own hand, committed to lifting the banner of truth to all and letting our light shine before the world. We are the only generation that will NEVER again be driven backwards by the Adversary—we will move forward as we promised. So my question now leads to, "how do we move forward if we do not even know who we are?!" We cannot live to our potential if we have no idea what our potential even is! We cannot know what our potential is if we listen more to what the world and the Adversary of the world tells us and less of what God has to say. So in a very real sense, to me, life is much more about silencing the voices that surround us and tuning in to the voice of the Lord. There is no way we can wait and linger amidst public opinion in order to find our true identity; we will not last, just as I am sure I would not have had the endurance to finish what I had made a commitment to do prior to beginning my race.

Take the next right step. If you are afraid of something, doubtful about another, unsure of yourself, reluctant to call yourself a beautiful person; take the next right step and silence one voice at a time. It's not about being flamboyant or filling yourself with pride. It's about accepting the greatness that God has instilled in us! On the contrary, is it not selfish to hold back the light that He has given us from the rest of the world to see? Look at the world now; you know what they say and how well they listen. Everything is based upon finite perception and unrealistic ratings. The world limits the greatness of others, classifies, and divides. But God unleashes the greatness in every man and woman that comes unto Him, reveals the truth about His greatest creations, and unites them with and attitude and belief of triumphant joy and gratitude. Simply said—we can do ANYTHING we put our heart and minds towards. It's not about what standards and limitations the world has created, it's about how committed and willing we are to achieve something eternal and worth fighting for. I gained nothing of worldly value for running the 37.2 miles from the Rexburg temple to the Idaho Falls temple except for a few very friendly cheers and a coupon for a 4 ounce cup of frozen yogurt (I wish I weren't lactose intolerant). The motivation for me was to simply fulfill a commitment that I made between the Lord and myself--to finish what I said I would do. But the experience has opened my eyes and brought me valuable insight that I now desire to share with all who would hear my advice as a friend. I love how much the gospel is revealed to the eye of the one whose heart and mind are single to the glory and honor of God. Let us find our identity my wonderful brothers and sisters! There has been nothing in my life more rewarding and beautiful than to see the prison bars bent, the shackles broken, and the voices of the world silenced by the individual who finds his or her true identity in this very world where God's children are "tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness..." (Ephesians 4:14). We are more than that! We are more than what we believe ourselves to be! We will never be able to comprehend our eternal worth and greatness in this life—but let us NEVER EVER come close to forgetting it!

To finish my thoughts I share with you the words of Helaman with some of my own words in order to fit the context of what I am trying to say: "And now, my [brothers and sisters], remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when [he shall demean your inner beauty, make it unacceptable to share your light and goodness, counterfeit giving glory and honor to God for the greatness you have inside of you with pride, and constantly reminds you how limited and incapable you are], [he] shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery, [depression, self-pity, and feelings of inferiority], because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men [and women] build they cannot fall." -Helaman 5:12. I find it very unique that the race I participated in began at a temple and ended at a temple—one divine location to another. Likewise each of us began our lives with our Heavenly Father and, though the stretch may be long, it will shape us to learn and become more like the edifice we all aspire to be near that we may feel God's presence. But I hope the world can better feel the presence of God when they are near each of us because we remembered who we are and began living our potential.

More and more I am coming to understand that with the blessings and gifts God has given me and the commitments I have made to Him before I came here, I am becoming a small and humbled instrument in His hands to help my brothers and sisters remember their self-worth and divine potential. I testify of all these words, that are true according to my own account and the knowledge the Holy Spirit of God has revealed to me, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

-Marianne Williamson

God Loves His Children

As I was descending the final steps towards leaving the beautiful country of Brazil and returning home after a two-year missionary service, I had one distinct question in my mind: "What did I learn?" Almost immediately as the question came one of the most spiritual experiences overcame my senses and my vision flushed as I heard the words "God loves His children". Almost simultaneously I heard the same voice telling me to learn to love His children too and I would be blessed. Since that February of 2011 my mission ended and began all over again with new people and new places.

I am immensely grateful to be a part of Brigham Young University-Idaho. With all the boldness and conviction of my heart I would not trade receiving my education here for any other university in the world (and that is not stated with complete ignorance to the prestigious universities/colleges of our time). I have been a student here for merely a year and have almost instantly perceived the quality of education we are receiving as well as the immensity of opportunity to grow as a leader and a more faithful disciple of Jesus Christ. But for me, above all the blessings I have thus far received, nothing has compared to the experience of creating, developing, and cultivating relationships amongst one another as peers, students, and as brothers and sisters. As I continue to meet different people and exchange ideas, thoughts, passions, interests, beliefs, stances, experiences, the very words of the Lord that I heard the day I was leaving my mission echoes in my heart, “God love’s His children”. And as this conviction has unfolded in my own heart and mind, I have sincerely begun to love His children more and more in Christ-like ways. The Lord blesses me for it and strengthens my soul in my personal efforts to do and be better.

I have experienced solitude, depression, hopelessness, frustration, anger, and the bitterness/loneliness of being cast alone just as many of the people around me. But EVERY SINGLE DAY I am learning how important relationships are for us, not just as human beings, but as heirs and heiresses to God. If relationships are eternally significant then we can most definitely conclude that communication is the bridge in which those relationships are sparked and formed. Those who know me well enough around campus have probably heard me recommend they take a communications class (specifically on interpersonal theory) that they may become better communicators. It is because I sincerely believe that it is the means for which we develop relationships with one another that we may better be able to fulfill the commandment God gave to us to love one another. With that being said, I must make a significant note that because communications were severed and interfered with, the Tower of Babel was not only no longer able to be completed but nations, kindreds, and tongues were born into the world. If one were to really think about it, the majority (if not all) the wars, perplexities, and conflicts of friends, families, states, and nations began and endured because of a problem with communication. This tells us how vital it is that we develop the correct tools and instruments to become better at sending and receiving messages one unto another.

As I study more of the news reports, political debates, commercial and media angles, and what types of things consume our time most on a daily basis, I grow concerned primarily for my future family and secondly for the people whom I have grown to love more through spending time with them (friends and family). But I also marvel in gratitude at the opportunity we will all have to use our creativity, ingenuity, intelligence, and discernment to guide our families and communities in marvelous ways. We are living in a time where we can no longer stand on middle ground and remain complacent about the world and it’s whirlwind of ideas and doctrine. We can no longer simply “go with the flow” and follow the standards of education, for example, that our communities and society sets. We have to come together and not only fight for the righteous values and standards the Lord has set, we have to create alternatives and solutions to open up doors for those who seek after righteous blessings. For example, as I was thinking about what kinds of things I would allow my children to watch as they grow in their lives, I thought how destructive, mindless, and uneducated the entertainment of our days are becoming. But instead of complaining about this or censoring everything they come across, I thought how unique and creative it would be if groups of righteous people would begin to make better quality movies and shows to compete in the market of “bad ideas”, at least giving some the choice to watch good, wholesome entertainment. It’s one simple idea, but an example of how we have to become more proactive and seekers of righteous living as opposed to simply waiting or expecting blessings to be delivered to us based out of entitlement.

I am grateful to be living in our time and to have been taught the gospel of Jesus Christ. Of course like all of you I cannot admit to living a perfectly righteous life and even to the expectations I have had for myself. But I have grown more satisfied and happy with my personal efforts and faith to continue to push forward and look to the Light of our Redeemer. Life is meant to teach us to be happy, not after we die, but now. But we cannot expect to learn such principles on our own when each and every one of us are like tiny puzzle pieces to God’s grand design; we must learn to interconnect and bond with one another as brothers and sisters no matter our lifestyles, beliefs, ideas, appearances, or views. We must learn to embrace all truth and seek for the truth in others, for we are all God’s children, heirs of Truth itself. We must learn to develop the light and gifts given to us by seeking and acting upon opportunities to change and better the world around us instead of expecting it to change merely because we demand it to. And most of all, we must learn to cultivate love in our hearts by choosing actively to spend time with the people around us. Man’s creations are magnificent in the respect that they were all inspired truths developed by the talents and gifts of men. But man/woman is God’s greatest creation, so we should spend a little more time with His masterpiece and less time with man’s. I write this with much love and hope for my brothers and sisters in this wonderful world and do so in the name of our Creator, Jesus Christ, amen.

Freedom Is Not Free

What makes us different and unique amongst one another? I believe it is the degree and direction our hearts are pointed. I still do not understand it, but I feel deep inside my heart the drumming of war, the sharpness of swords, the cries of freedom, and the triumph of victory. If you could only imagine having the swelling motions of victory crying out for the oppressed as a young child, I wouldn’t be surprised if you thought to interpret yourself a soldier and fighter for peace. If you continued to follow your heart’s calling as the eyes of the downtrodden looked to you as a leader and you joined the military to fight for their cause, I would think of you as noble and courageous. If in the most gruesome of wars your heart shouts to stand in the middle and erect the banner of truth and light, putting your life before others, I wouldn’t be surprised to see that flag still standing. Conflict scathes us all and brings out the worst and best we have to give. But do we have to wait for battle to be tested, though we are in a war?

Before we came to earth we were in the middle of the war that began all wars—the war between Satan and Christ, freedom and bondage, good and evil. This could not have been a war of swords and shields, for, we were spirits and could not be slain. We fought with words, with teachings, with principles, and with power and authority. But in our spirits is a heart that governs the direction we go regardless of the conflicts about us. Some of us fought more valiantly than others (on either side) and some did more to shun away and avoid the tenacity of battle. In this great conflict hearts were misguided and even lost forever in darkness. Ultimately Satan and his followers lost the battle and were cast down from God’s land, even heaven, forever. As we celebrated and triumphed over the victory we all understood that the war was still not over—we had to finish it on Satan’s territory, even hell itself. So we came to earth, Adam leading before us, Christ slaying the dragon and death itself, and us driving Satan and his army back to outer darkness forever. We are tested everyday where on the battle front we stand. But do we have to wait for battle to be tested, though we are in a war?

It is imperative that we understand what the meaning of freedom really is in that we are able to make personal choices without compulsion. Compulsion is defined as the action or state of being forced to do something. One of the defining differences between God and Satan is exactly that God allows us the agency/freedom to make our own choices while Satan attempts furtively to force us to do his will. If we mix these two together, we can be sure to be lost and confused for the entire duration of this war(which often is the case with the apathetic). Knowing this we only have to ask ourselves if we truly desire to be free, if we desire to be in bondage, or if we do not care at all (in which case the latter leads directly to being put under bondage anyway). I am certain the majority (if not all) of us desire freedom and do not want to be in bondage. The question then lies with how we fight to obtain it. Freedom is not free; it is bought with a price. We cannot be naive to our situation; surrounding all of us are the forces and hosts of the enemy thirsting for our blood, waiting to test us to see if we really want to be free. But do we have to wait for battle to be tested, though we are in a war?

Apathy is the worst kind of death there is. Instead of dying and letting your body nurture the soil of the earth, you continue to walk as a decaying corpse of lifeless values. It is also easier (for me) to love someone who hates me than someone who cares about nothing. A man caught in the bind and web of jealousy and hatred can be freed. But tell me, how do you free a man who voluntarily walks as though his hands and feet are shackled, yet, there are none? How do you shake a man loose from the web of lies and deceit that surround us all when he couldn’t care less if he were caught in it or free from it? How do you motivate a man to care when he doesn’t even care to care? Today is Independence Day, but I fear that we have grown more accustomed to celebrating this holiday with barbecue, games, and fireworks rather than understanding what it means to be free. We speak of freedom and profess our love for it, but our words grow dry as the true meaning remains in the blood of sacrifice. We do not have to join the military and give our lives to understand freedom (in fact I am afraid that even some of our soldiers are beginning misunderstand it); we only need to participate in the battle. But do we have to wait for battle to be tested, though we are in a war?

It’s not on this day we should remember the blessings of freedom, it’s everyday. I’m sure we have heard the saying that a man doesn’t know what he has until he loses it. But we don’t have to wait to lose our freedom; we don’t have to wait for the battle to come to us. If we do wait, it will be too late. We are in a war and we do not have a choice about that. But we can choose where we will stand already knowing that Christ and His royal army will stand victorious in the end. “Choose you this day whom ye will serve: … but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15) and be free. It’s not enough to love freedom, we have to crave it and breathe it in. Without going into unnecessary detail I only bid that we remember that some of the greatest nations in the world fell merely because they took for granted their freedoms and allowed pride to satisfy that hunger. Fight! There is not other way. Make the choices you deem necessary that you may stand in peace in the midst of this war. I testify that one cannot understand freedom without being set free first (through the Atonement of Jesus Christ). One cannot be set free until he sees himself in bondage. One cannot see himself in bondage until he recognizes the war. One cannot recognize the war without choosing to do so. I love my country and for what it stands. I will always be a soldier in God’s army because I KNOW what freedom feels like. Let us not wait for the battle to come to us (because it will whether we want it to or not); let us unite ourselves in the very cause that bred this mighty nation under God, even the United States of America!

To Find A Man

“Are you ready?” he asked. I wonder if he realized the pain and chasms that question would create in my mind. I sat on the bench in my locker both anxious and excited for the attention soon to be drawn towards me while squirming into my white jumpsuit. The fluttered energy of the children outside made me want to go out and play with them more, but my daddy’s gaze was serious and I knew I had to stay. This concept of baptism was as foreign to me as was the bathroom we were in. I knew every crevice and climbable object inside of the church’s edifice. It had been my playground and world to search and hide whenever and wherever I wanted. But I never had before seen this part of the bathroom and it made me feel uncomfortable. The gushing water coming from the font next door trickled my senses and I figured I must have been standing with a spacious look long enough for my dad’s face to twist impatiently. “Pull up your zipper, they’re waiting”. I did as I was asked still wanting to go outside and play with the rollie-pollies, chase the birds, and smash play-dough in all the cracks. Yet, inside I felt strangely that I should follow close behind dad and do as I was asked. My fingers were bending and twisting between my hands, but my feet continued stepping down into the pool of warm water to join my father. I couldn’t tell if the pressure I was feeling was coming from all those around me noticing my obvious discomfort or from the water around me squeezing into my jumpsuit. The world, as I once knew it, was washing away and before I could object or comprehend what was happening I was plunged deeply into silence.

Walking back up the stairs before my father, the water that filled my tiny jumpsuit came splashing before my feet. Nearing my locker I could sense the footmarks I left behind me were bleeding with the colors of the world I once knew. A child paints a picture splattering paint onto the white walls of his understanding, and, before he is ready to fathom the colors before him, the grown-ups destroy it. Yet, amidst the utter confusion and chaos playing in my mind, my fingers were no longer bending and twisting between my hands. As I stripped myself of my waterlogged clothes the weight I was feeling dropped to the floor in a thudding echo. That echo reminded me of the peace I was feeling despite all of the new emotions that were exploding inside my mind. When I was beneath the surface of the water in the grasp of my daddy’s strong arms the whispers and thoughts around me was cut to sudden silence. For two seconds I could not even hear my own voice screaming. I remember seeing in my mind that the rollie-pollies outside stopped crawling and the birds stopped trying to fly away from my tiny reach. It was as if they were telling me to stop struggling and to listen. I did listen and I heard, in the utter silence of the world beneath that water’s surface, a reassuring voice that everything would be okay. Now, as I pulled on my dry underwear and grabbed my church clothes I could see my father dressing himself just as silently as I was. All I could hear was the ruffling of our clothes bouncing off the walls of the bathroom, whispering peace into my new mind. My father stepped out and I followed behind him.

As the years raced by and it was no longer considered “cool” in our family to sing happy birthday, I kept thinking about that question my father asked me at eight years of age. “Are you ready?” It seemed like a whip he used to control me despite my tenacity to break free and do whatever I wanted to. When the sun was highest and the sky fully blue he would ask my brothers and I to get ready to go work with him at the construction site. When it was more important to us to beat King Koopa with Mario and Luigi than to get ready for church he would get angry. When playing football would bring more friends and attention than doing my homework, he would remind me what priorities mean. But the moment he asked me if I was ready to leave home for two years and serve the Lord on a mission, my world plunged back underwater and I was as silent as I had been the moment I walked out of the baptismal font years before. This time it was a question I knew would come but had hoped or waited for the day to remain in the “tomorrow” scheme. I remember reading from U.S. President Lincoln that “one cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today”. His words were echoing against the walls of my bedroom as I sat thinking about my father’s question once again. I wanted to go outside with my iPod and go running or escape to my friend’s house where I was never harassed about my choices. But as I heard the engine of the neighbor’s car starting, I realized I must have appeared completely apathetic to my father who was still standing by my bedroom door. He walked away and I remember feeling so trapped and angry inside as I struggled to comprehend what it was he was asking me. I wanted to scream at him to help me to understand but instead my eyes swelled up and water began crashing down before my feet.

As I stepped off the plane from an almost eighteen hour trip, I grabbed my luggage and began looking for my family. I had an idea of how the reunion would be because my two older brothers have left for two years and came back also. But part of me did not want to see them. I felt as though my heart was still beating on the seat of the airplane that was getting fueled up and ready to return to Brazil. I could hear the overwhelming feelings of anticipation as loved ones were departing and reuniting echoing with the customer service personnel calling out flight times and destinations. The echoes, though loud, brought peace to my mind and I continued to walk forward. I didn’t know what to expect seeing my family once again, but I could feel the pressure building around me as I pictured what they would think of me noticing my obvious discomfort. I knew I wouldn’t be crying like my two older brothers before me had; I just didn’t understand why. I had learned and grown so accustomed to portraying my deepest thoughts and emotions in the letters I wrote home that I didn’t think I would have the capacity to show them how much I cared for each of them. I stepped on the escalator and began descending below the surface of the world around me. I saw my family all grouped together so calmly. They all looked at me as if to say, “stop struggling and listen”. I listened and I heard a reassuring voice that everything would be okay. As I looked into my father’s eyes and embraced, I could hear him asking me, “are you ready?” He grabbed my suitcase and walked out the airport doors into the chaos and confusion of the world. I followed behind him finally understanding what he meant.