Paths of Gratitude

Proverbs 3:6 states, "In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths." The more I have made a sincere effort to recognize the Hand of the Lord in all things (whether I counted them as blessings or challenges) the more my attitude towards other people has been positively changed and uplifted, both as individuals and collectively. I began by thanking Heavenly Father for small things, as small and simple of blessings as I could recognize and count; such as, for a house, a variety of food, a pillow, a bed, carpet floors, shoes, clothes, toothpaste, q-tips. cleaners, glass windows, swinging doors, couches, electric lights, heaters/air-conditioners, ink pens, clocks, chairs, water, trees, beaches, stars, crunchy leaves, moth dust, and the list would continue on. By recognizing these things as blessings I began to feel a change in perspective. I felt (feel) the significance I felt I had as an individual in the world shrink. I felt (feel) the weight of so many blessings I did not before recognize grow, insomuch that it became difficult to imagine how I could have taken so many of these small and simple things for granted.

As I continued this practice I realize that I began thanking Heavenly Father for spiritual blessings and gifts that He has given me. As stated in Proverbs, the Lord truly began to “direct [my] paths” by revealing unto me the gifts and talents I carried. It is especially difficult to recognize our gifts and talents in a world and culture of endless competition and narrow-minded criticism. “How is my gift or talent good for anything?” “There are so many other people that can do it better than me.” “There’s nothing special or different about what I have”. These and a combination of faithless and selfish ways of rationalizing can most certainly lead us in the very direction the slothful servant took in the parable of the talents (Matthew 25:15-30). By at least striving to be grateful for what I had been given the Lord has helped me to understand that He does not expect or even want me to be the absolute best with those gifts and talents. He only requires that we take what He has given us and develop them further for the purpose of inviting His light and love in the lives of those around us.

By now my gratitude has developed into something much more intimate and personal than I had ever imagined. I had begun giving thanks to God for my challenges and weaknesses. I distinctly remember some nights where actually admitting this would hurt and feel sickening. But that fear and self-pity, every single time, has been replaced with love and understanding. I have learned that without our weakness we cannot possibly learn to become like God and overcome evil. In describing who I am I can list all of the traits, talents, and beliefs that I carry to all who ask. But it is impossible to truly reveal my character without revealing the weaknesses and severe challenges I have had to overcome and still fight to recognize and defeat. I know this scripture is commonly quoted in Latter-Day Saint culture, but it rarely can be stated in better words. “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me [or in other words, if men recognize my Hand in all the aspects of their lives], and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them” (Ether 12:27, emphasis added).

This past year since last Thanksgiving has been developmentally blessed as I have continued that practice of expressing my gratitude to my Counselor and King. I have now been developing a greater discernment in seeing the true hearts of others. As my love for all the things I have recognized God has given me and surrounded me with has increased, God has slowly been pouring out this love (refined by Him) back into my heart. That love has had no other key or purpose than to be used towards others. I surely cannot claim to be a man of great love or exceptional judgment towards others. But I do recognize a steady progression towards achieving that love insomuch that I have great faith that I will be able to achieve it. My recognizing and giving thanks to God for the myriad of small and simple things has allowed me to recognize how the small and simple things in others has so much potential to be as great and even greater than God has given me to see and appreciate. How, then, can we not love one another when there is so much in them to be excited to see grow and wonderful to witness in achieving?! Certainly, more than ever, I wish to express my sincere gratitude for God’s children—all of them. I am grateful for the ones we commonly perceive as good, magnificent, and extraordinary as well as the ones we commonly perceive as bad, malicious, and mundane. We are not given the keys nor the capacity to judge the human race, yet we act like we do. Doctrine and Covenants 64:10 states that “I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men.” Forgiving all men most certainly included those who may not have even offended us directly. It may most certainly include those who have not even existed in our lifetime whom the history books, or even scriptures, quote and brand as the most evil and worst of men. No, as I have learned to carry a greater spirit of gratitude with me I am certain that God has helped me to see that it is possible and even wonderfully uplifting to forgive all men. That very forgiveness brings us all closer to one another in so intense a love that “Satan has no power (...) for he hath no power over the hearts of the people, for they dwell in righteousness, and the Holy One of Israel reigneth” (1 Nephi 22:26).

Thanksgiving has been, and most likely always will, be my favorite American holiday strictly because it carries with its name the impression of giving thanks. It is by this principle that we learn to be more humble disciples of Jesus Christ and serve one another more effectively. It is my opinion that gratitude is the heaviest anchor and greatest manifestation of the doctrine of hope. Through the changes that have been made and the path of so much painful and wonderful change ahead of me, I bear my witness that gratitude can be the safest ship to cross the most turbulent and tumultuous seas of envy, anger, strife, entitlement, and selfishness. I know that gratitude is the most effective way to be aware of our environmental, social, psychological, and spiritual surroundings. “Now my brethren, we see that God is mindful of every people, whatsoever land they may be in; yea, he numbereth his people, and his bowels of mercy are over all the earth. Now this is my joy, and my great thanksgiving; yea, and I will give thanks unto my God forever. Amen” (Alma 26:37).

Music—The First and Last Note

"The glory of God is intelligence, or, in other words, light and truth."
- Doctrine & Covenants 93:36

Music is an element that every human being has been able to connect to in one way or another. It was composer Ludvig Van Beethoven who directed that "music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy", the Greek philosopher Plato who taught that "music is the movement of sound to reach the soul for the education of its virtue", and the well known writer, Maya Angelou, who wrote that "music was [her] refuge where  '[she] could crawl into the space between the notes and curl [her] back to loneliness.'"

Music in so many levels acts as an escape—a refuge for the downtrodden, the sick, and the weary of souls. But today it has become more prevalent that the minds that wander into the realms of dreams, hope, expression, and connection become comfortably lost and fail to reconnect their hearts and minds with reality.

Music has been such an intimate part of my life that it would seem impossible to describe my character without describing the transitions I have made in the music medium. My mother's choice of music was always modest and appropriate, so the impact she has had on my heart and mind is calculable. But as we all do when we grow up, I began making my own choices and those choices reflected more of the wisdom and thoughtful consideration of a teenage boy than of myself today. The point is I was as vibrant and easily influenced as the rest of my friends and surrounding peers. I felt the excitement of pop, rap, hip-hop, electronic, rock, punk, heavy-metal, etc. I regret that my mind was so easily influenced that it has skimmed well below the surface of all these genres and more. I remember straightly thinking that there really could be no better kind of music than what I had. It seemed to be able to fit every change of mood and emotion a teenager experiences in life. When the outside world and everyone around could not comprehend my inner trials and conflicts, music, no matter how harsh and explicit it can be, had me understood well.

Something would always be missing. I could only play the beats and chords of Dionysian (worldly) concern for so long until my eardrums grew bored and weary. By then it was only a matter of waiting for the "next new hit" to arrive in which it seemed everyone would conform their listening to, talk about, dance to, and criticize. Until then, I remember so well, (almost like a whisper) I would discover the realms of baroque, classical, romantic, and spiritual music theory. Listening to music as a teenager for me could very well be mentally illustrated as a room full of dominos. Each are proportioned and placed so perfectly beside one another as if to irritate the mind and tempt your impulses to knock any one over and watch the chaos unravel itself. But soon after the chaos is over and the excitement gone, you are still left unsatisfied at the mess before your eyes. The struggle between listening to good and bad music was a matter of satisfying a thirst (or need even) for conflict. I was a seesaw standing in the middle between a dependence upon the first notes of the radio and a desire to draw near the last notes of the forgotten wonders. Very much so was this in likeness to almost all stuggles I have consciously undergone.

Somewhere in the struggle I recognized and felt the need to make some very vital changes—changes in my thinking and behavior towards my life and towards all within it. The most difficult part of the process is that I did not, nor could not, fathom the influence and power that music had upon my thinking and feeling at that time. It was like trying to plant crops in the winter, swim through a rip current, or have an intimate conversation in the middle of a battlefield—the conditions I was putting myself in was in opposition to my desires. It's only recently (now) as I've been able to reflect upon those teenage experiences, that I realize why one of the very first promptings I received (after I had read the Book of Mormon for the first time) was to eliminate any and all negative influences in my life. I wasn't told what or where to begin, but as I seriously pondered upon the matter the absolute first thing that came to my mind was music.

Letting go of "bad"¹ music was and has been like cleaning an oil spill in an ocean of vast proportion. The longer I had held on and waited to let go of certain artists, songs, or even genres, the more the influence and effects would spread into various parts of my thinking. I needed to act swiftly and decisively. Initially I did. I threw away whole collections of CDs and songs that were blatantly and explicitly "bad"¹. But the most difficult part of the process was letting go of the artists and songs I didn't initially think were explicitly "bad"¹ to listen to. They leaned more towards "in-the-middle" upon the spectrum of my thinking and judgment at the time. Needless to go into further details, the changes I made at that point of my life marked the beginning of a diversity of changes I had made and continue to make now. My personality, my beliefs, my passions, my character, all of which were and are revealed, defined, discovered, and chiseled respectively, because of the choices I made and make marked by the day I decided to choose to listen to "better"¹ music.

Till this day I still struggle to make a firm judgment and decision on what I listen to. But I have come a relatively long way from merely seeking out what complimented the array of emotions, thoughts, and attitudes that were more imposed upon me to seeking that which uplifts, inspires, and edifies good, wholesome thinking. In the realm of music the question for me is no longer if whether or not what I'm listening to is "bad". The question I begin to ask myself is if there is something even better and more uplifting than what I have. It's a matter of taking the next right step. In this matter the Lord did not expect me to know immediately the kinds of music that would have a detrimentally more positive influence upon my thinking and feeling. But He did expect me to act upon the assurances I had been given—assurances that I needed to change the influences around me to conform to my inner desires lest I jeopardize my way into utter confusion and chaos. I made mention earlier in this article that the struggle between listening to good and bad music was a matter of satisfying a thirst for conflict. Listening to both seemed to quench every natural and spiritual desire I carried. It seems we all participate in this struggle in one form or another—the struggle to fulfill. But as the Lord has taught us lovingly, we can eliminate any and all unrighteous thirsts if we admit (recognize), with the judgement given to each of us, that our wants and "needs" may not be what He knows is best for us. "Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be perfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.”²

I testify that the power to change is real. The Atonement of Jesus Christ brings so much peace and understanding to the human soul. It is a gift that is offered freely unto all who are willing to partake of such blessings as the one I attempted to illustrate in this article. I can attribute many experiences and choices to my knowledge and understanding of the Savior and His teachings. But music will always be the key that marked the beginning of an onset of vital changes in my youth. It is only now, with a few years of perpective, that I am able to write about such changes with so much gratitude and joy for my Savior. I have testified, and will forever testify, that in this respect had I decided to ignore the promptings to seek out better music (and other influences) I would not have the understanding and appreciation and love for "good" music today. My brothers and sisters, the Earth is filled to the brim with treasures. There is milk and honey without price in which we all may experience and partake if we but place our faith and trust in the Lord Jesus Christ and OBEY the teachings and commandments He gives us. But we will miss all of these blessings and remain blind to the pearls and deaf to the melodies that inspire and carry our souls back to Him save we deny ourselves of all ungodliness and obey His word. For me, now the struggle in selecting "good" music is leaning towards choosing what is better and best amongst what I have formerly judged as merely "good". With God it is always about progression and about taking the next right step amongst the sands of eternal perspective. I know we all have the capacity to make such choices and I bear my witness that the fruits of such courage and intimate decision is sweet above all. Although they may not come immediately, they ALWAYS come at the right time. May you listen to the melodic voice of the spirit within you and have the courage to find the notes in this world that conform more and more to the righteous needs and desires of your soul, is my prayer in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.



Endnotes:

1. If you notice, I am placing the word "bad" and "better" in quotations to signify the relative meaning it held and holds with me. These were/are artists and songs that I had judged to be against the conduct and attitude I strive(d) to obtain and carry in order to triumph over personal struggles and self-inflicted pain. I am not trying to sound neutral in the matter. I stand firmly in believing that there is good and bad music just as certain as I am that there is righteous and evil works throughout all the world. But relative to the time I was making those changes and even until now, what I judge to be "bad" is guided by the allowance of the Spirit of God I invite and permit to reside within me. Others may judge differently which is acceptable to me. But my point in addressing this matter is to affirm that we will all one day stand before God and give account to the choices we had made in direct accordance to the knowledge and understanding and light we ALL have been given as tools to judge between good and evil works (including choices such as the one illustrated in this article).

2. see Moroni 10:32.
See also: “Deny Yourselves of All Ungodliness” NEAL A. MAXWELL Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles