A Meaning To Our Fairytale Endings

If we were to paint the stereotypical story of a prince and a princess, I think many of us would agree on a few key elements that are to be included. I have found at least three: the prince must search far and wide for the castle in which the princess is in, he must face and slay the dragon guarding the castle, and he must climb the tallest tower to reach her. Only then is he worthy of her love. These stories are countless and sometimes a bit too cheesy for my tastes, but I have begun to find wisdom that can well be applied from such fairy tales.

The journey to find the castle is the journey every man must take to not only "find" the appropriate companion but to find himself. There is so much out in the world that seeks to distract, desensitize, demoralize, and desecrate the duty of a man and his purpose. But as he matures and takes wise steps in the right direction it will not be long until he finds the castle where his princess awaits.

But we all know that is not even half of the story. No, the prince must reluctantly charge the castle knowing full well what lies ahead waiting for him. It is an enemy that has taken hundreds and thousands, even millions, of men before him. It is the castle's fiercest guardian–the dragon. The dragon represents the pride of man and all of the transgressions committed by him. The greater the mistakes and sins a man has committed, the greater the dragon he must face. No prince/knight is allowed to simply walk up the tower and kiss the princess, no, not one! The ones who think they have remain a victim of his own illusions spawned from the depths of his very pride. No, he must fight and he knows this. That is why more and more men are not even reaching this part of the story where they even find the castle, because they know too well what lies ahead. But every great inspiring legend is a story that tells you just what CAN happen if you make those good choices. The prince WILL conquer if he wills it so! Such a victory is written in myriads of books, but why have so many fallen before this dragon? I think the greater question would be, "is pride really so destructive and debilitating?" Indeed it is. And few are those who are able to overcome the portion necessary to slay the enemy that stands before him and his awaiting princess. Nevertheless, if he wills it so, defeat him he will.

After defeating the dragon the climax and greatest victory of the story has been reached, even without yet reaching the princess. How? Because to overcome oneself is to pluck and taste a bit of heaven—it is the very purpose of our being here and the example that Christ has shown us. Yet, the knight's journey continues from here. He must now climb the tallest tower and unlock the door where the princess awaits for him. He is exhausted, he is sore, but the last steps he must take are essential as they continually spiral upward. Why? Because man cannot be happy if man does not progress. Progress is the very purpose of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Heavenly Father declared in Moses 1:39 that His work and His glory is to progress us. Therefore we cannot become happy like Him if we do not progress. Likewise, we cannot possibly be fit to meet the needs of an eternal companion if we are too busy focusing on our own selves. That is one reason why I think we "knights" are ordained the priesthood. The only way we can truly progress is to serve others in a pure and rightful way. Yes, it is true that in order for both a man and a woman to reach the highest order of progression they must be sealed together in the House of God. But only when a man has advanced himself high enough in the order of the priesthood is he able to reach the door of the temple and unlock it through his worthiness. When the knight enters the tower of the princess, he is, without a doubt, taken back by the breathtaking beauty that radiates from her as a daughter of God. And she loves him not for his handsome features or his worldly attributes, but rather because she knows that he literally went through all of hell to reach her so that, together, they may make way back Home to heaven.

Now I'd like to think there is a justifiable woman's version to this story that fits with the principles of the gospel as well. A woman sitting around in a tower waiting for a guy to sweep her off her feet is a practice that is neither supported by our priesthood leaders nor desirable for a man to pursue. Most men won't love and respect a woman for who she is solely because she feels entitled through her feminism, beauty, or readiness to marry. There is work to be done and battles to be won on both sides of the spectrum. But again, these silly fairy tales actually carry with them some eternal wisdom that I believe can be well applied.

I'd like to think that the tower itself, where the princess awaits in these stories, are built with the strongest stones and mortar representing the virtue of a woman. Like the tower, a woman's virtue cannot be broken through without her willing it so. That virtue protects her from the world of men and women who see her as anything less than the daughter of God she is. Within that tower she is better able to focus on her divine attributes as a woman and develop them through prayer, through study, and through faith. Too many have stepped out of that tower, tired of patiently waiting for that prince. They want to make themselves more visible and known to the world—to feel more appreciated and to be more available. Too many have stepped out of that tower, locked themselves out, and never returned again. Virtue is a gift from God and should be protected and kept sacred always. The tower is a protection for both the woman and the man from receiving things that neither are ready or worthy yet to receive. (See annotation 1)

The height of the tower, I like to think, has significance too. It is the standards to which a woman should keep herself to. It goes hand in hand with the structure of the tower/virtue because a woman's standards can be no higher than she has strength/virtue to build upon. To put it another way, the stronger a woman's virtue the higher her standards become. Why is this important? We are ALL here to become like our Heavenly Father and return home to Him. To help us on our journey we have been given the Savior's example and His atoning sacrifice. We have been given prophets, apostles, bishops, fathers, etc. But more abundant upon this earth are the many women whose beauty and virtue stir in men's hearts the desire to be more righteous. Maybe it's just me and I'm being too old-fashioned, but every good and virtuous woman has possessed a beauty that simply made me want to be a better man. That is why the tower has to be tall! It takes work! Men that get things for free become corrupt and evil. Just look at what welfare systems or gambling does! (See annotation 2) But men who have to work hard for their desires receive joy, satisfaction, and blessings. Likewise, a man that works hard to raise his standards to meet the woman of his dreams will be better qualified to love, appreciate, and protect her.

Protection is a key attribute and one sought after in men by most women throughout all generations. If a woman is to leave her tower she should feel that her standards and the virtue she possesses will continue to be protected. But I want to point out that physical features and money can only provide and protect so much, yet, is too often the characteristics most sought for. It is the spiritual protection that a woman should seek in a man and those things can be just as visible, if not more, if her eyes are spiritual (D&C 131:7-8). These are characteristics and attributes that the priesthood of God help a man to obtain and/or develop.

The last symbolic fairytale feature I want to highlight is the door inside the tower to the room in which the princess awaits. This is THE most difficult step of the process for both the prince and the princess. Every step the prince has taken to reach the castle, to slay the dragon, to climb the staircase has all been without the assurance that he would receive the princesses' love. And all the time spent by the princess to also develop her gifts and talents and protect her virtue is without the assurance the she will feel love for the man who knocks on the door of her heart. That is why there is a door—a choice. A door or choice for the prince to move past all of his fears and take that last step and knock. A door for the princess to choose to move past all of her doubts and respond or not. But once the door is opened, once that chance is taken, even if things don't work out the way either of them hoped for or imagined, there is no regrets because there is nothing left to do. When all that we do is done, God handles the rest in His own time and in His own way. My bet is, though, that if both have put in as much work as is to be expected of a prince and a princess, they will, like the rest of the fairytale endings, live happily ever after.

(1) There are many examples of men who have been given that which Moroni declares to be most dear and precious, "chastity and virtue". There are many women who have left their towers to be more seen and received by men or who have kept the door to the tower locked after a worthy man has come. The fruits of their actions show and, unless they change their behaviors, they will be cast off as Jacob has prophesied in Jacob 5:32, 42, 69, 77.

(2) When we receive things that we are not ready for it have not earned through our choices, we bear a high risk of corruption and self limitation. Heavenly Father's plan of happiness includes an absolute key principle that must be kept in order for the plan to work—that key is our agency. Coupled with that agency is the divine principle of consequence. As Newton observed, for every action there is an equal (not necessarily similar) and opposite reaction. We are to live in a world where we make choices and observe the consequences of those choices. More than often those consequences do not immediately follow our choices (or they are not as spiritually discerned because of the veil before our eyes). God leaves it to our spiritual leaders and our political leaders to enforce the consequences to our actions that we may learn. But what happens when these things are not enforced or done so perfectly? Well, the spiritual consequences will always follow regardless, but often times the man or woman becomes deceived into thinking that their choices do not bear the consequences they may have thought would follow.

Here's a good example of this. Think of the men who we have seen as "players", "tools", "cocky", or whatever other slang that has been applied. I wonder if those men would act in such a way of the women they associated with would not have been so "giving" of their virtue and chastity. I'm not strictly speaking of sex but of all forms of affection. If all a man has to do is look a certain way, have a certain amount of money, say a certain thing, or act like a total jerk and he still gets a girl's affection, then he bears the risk of deceiving himself into thinking that working hard and respecting a woman really doesn't pay off in the end.

But when is the end? It makes a significant difference to see the end as the end of life instead of the end of this chapter of eternity.

(3) Adam was alone for a certain period of his life. We do not know why God had him live alone for this period and then tell him that it is not good for man to be alone. Why didn't he just create Eve first and explain it later? It seems that God wanted Adam to understand how it feels to be alone. As Adam was put to sleep so are all men, in a way, asleep until a woman comes into our lives and awakens our faculties. Hence the famous saying, "I've never felt so alive when I'm with her".

Integrity— The Gateway to Freedom

If you don't possess a set of true moral standards and honest principles in your life you WILL be pushed around and cornered until you feel your life losing control. Isn't that the freedom that Satan advertises, do what you want and YOLO around from one satisfaction to the next? 

In a talk by James E. Faust in the April 1982 General Conference, “the dictionary defines integrity as a firm adherence to a code of moral values (see Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary). It connotes soundness and incorruptibility. It is the mother of many virtues. It begins when we deal justly with ourselves.”

Basically integrity is doing what you say you will do and having those desires to keep your commitments. How does Satan rob us of our integrity? Not by getting us to break our commitments, but by not getting us to commit at all. If we don't commit to a principle or action or a good habit then we don't even have the AGENCY to choose to remain committed to such a cause when the temptation arrives  to do otherwise.

Take relationships, for an example, as marriage rates have been drastically declining and cohabitation rates inclining. When a couple decides to cohabitate they agree on a few things to do together in mutual benefit. But in the moment problems arise and their affection for one another challenged, what is to stop one or the other from walking out of the relationship? Sure, we still have a CHOICE and our agency is technically still existent, but our integrity isn't compromised because it was never challenged in the first place. If you aren't committed to any moral values or principles then you aren't committed to being honest with yourself and with others—the core of integrity. And if we live a life without commitment then we will be “tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive” (Ephesians 4:14).

As Latter-Day Saints we make covenants with God beginning at baptism because we understand that doing good is not happenstance, becoming clean from our sins is not something a person stumbles upon, and returning to God's Kingdom in heaven does not come by chance. Every good thing this life and the next has to offer is received through hard honest work. “There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated—And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated” (D&C 130:20-21).

We as Latter-Day Saints understand that we often make mistakes and break our covenants with God—we sin. But our covenants do not become invalid when we make mistakes, rather, the blessings upon which those covenants are predicated simply cannot be obtained in that time. This is why we recommit ourselves each week by partaking of the sacrament and renewing our covenants/promises to God. If we are being sincere and truly repenting of our sins then that ordinance (sacrament) will be enough to cleanse us and invigorate us to continue to strive for perfection. Jesus Christ has already paved the way to take control of our lives and be free from the clutches of sin.

So how does Satan rob us of our integrity? He doesn't want us to commit. He wants us to believe that we can still do good by not committing ourselves to a good cause, thus leading us carefully away from truth (2 Nephi 28:21-23). Maybe he even gets us to commit outwardly but inwardly our hearts are not broken nor our spirits contrite 2 Nephi 2:7). As Christ teaches us in Mosiah 7:33, “But if ye will turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage.”

So let us stop hating ourselves and start loving our God. Let us commit our minds and our hearts to His gospel, which gospel lays out all the laws upon which blessings and happiness (both temporally and spiritually) are predicated. Let us commit to being honest with ourselves and with others that we may control the course of our lives and NOT be tossed to and fro. Let us have integrity which IS the mother of many virtues and brings the sincere closer to God. Let us “remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall” (Helaman 5:12).