Early Saturday morning of September 22 I had an opportunity to do something I had never done before. Brigham Young University - Idaho was hosting a relay race for all students, staff, alumni, and fellow citizens to run from the Rexburg, Idaho Temple to the Idaho Falls, Idaho Temple, a race that would course through a 37.2 mile stretch. We were all given the option to form a standard team of 8, 4, or even 2 to split the legs of the race up and even out the distance between each runner. For the first time to take place here, one other man and I thought to do the whole race by ourselves.
I was originally planning on running with a group of great friends for only a 2.4 mile stretch. But as I was training for it the thought came to my mind that I had the opportunity to practice a principle I strongly believe in; that as children of God, we can do ANYTHING we put our hearts, minds, and faith towards. So, around the first mile of the first day of my training I decided to put my own words to action and run the whole race by myself. I wasn't seeking to increase my status or self-worth, nor was I attempting to find more respect from the people around me. I simply wanted to seize the opportunity to live the principles I teach and further teach what I know we all can live.
I had about three weeks to train for this race and I had NO clue how to even train for it! I am an avid runner and love the thrill of beating the ground like a stallion and breathing out fire from the lungs' furnacing energy. But I had never run more than 10 miles prior and typically find more joy in 3-5 miles routes. As the days were drawing nearer, the 37 mile race, to me, seemed to be getting longer. One week before the race I ran for just over 15 miles and I was exhausted—drained from the two hours it took me to finish that course. I had then realized that this run was going to be a much greater challenge for me mentally than it would be physically.
During that 15 mile training run I kept hearing myself trying to find an excuse to back out of actually doing it. I stopped a few times due to my knees becoming swollen and sore, I developed a case of plantar fasciitis (a muscle strain/tear in the arch of the foot), and due to the two hour length of the run my mind was growing weary and bored. In addition I kept hearing the voice of others repeating in my head that I needed to train longer and be better prepared for something as extreme as this; most people would prepare for several months just to run in a marathon (26.2 miles). I kept hearing that I would only last as far as 20 miles or that I would give into the pain in my foot or knees. But above all, the most distinguished and present voice was that of my own uncertainty of accomplishing something I had never even come close to doing before. I was stuck battling with my mind and the sincere belief that I could do it anyway—that my heart was all I needed to cross the finish line.
The relay began at 7:10 A.M. and I was already running on just four hours of sleep. Through the course of the night before I kept hearing several voices of doubt and reason clamoring in my head mixed with a small voice of will and faith—all seemingly from different parts of the same me. But now I was standing just feet away from the starting line, my headphones planted in my ears, listening to "Hope of Israel", one of my favorite running hymns. Despite the sun not even having risen yet, things were looking bright as I was well on my way.
Good uplifting music, water, and a conversation with my Heavenly Father were key elements throughout the longest stretch I've ever encountered. The good music elevated my thinking towards greater and more important things; the water not only hydrated my body but kept me feeling alive, even in pain and trial; and prayers to God—well, they were personal, but vital to every single step I took. All those voices of doubt, fear, discouragement, and uncertainty had no chance to even interfere. From the moment I took the first step it was only a matter of
taking the next right step.
I ran all 37.2 miles and finished that race in 6 hours and 18 minutes, over a half-hour faster than my predicted time. It has been by far the greatest mental achievement I have seen myself accomplish thus far. People began asking me and still ask me how I did it and how I consider this more of a mental achievement than a physical one. Before I took that first step, I had to decide whether or not I was fully committed or if I would still retain those doubtful or fearful voices in my head. But I realize that the commitment had to be made far before the race even began, not at the starting line. With certainty I know that, had I waited until then to decide, the adversary himself would have had enough room in my head to stretch out his arms and legs upon every corner of my heart and mind.
I learned a valuable lesson in this race that connects directly to some thoughts I've been having about our perception of who we think we really are. I wouldn't have shared this experience at all had I not felt the prompting to expound upon this further and allow others a chance to perhaps receive enlightenment from Heavenly Father. "Who am I?" is a question the entire world as an individual struggles to understand and ask themselves more often. We are born into the world without the slightest clue of who we are or where we came from. Most of what we believe ourselves to be is what our parents, friends, and the influential people around us fed us from the time since we were toddlers until even now. When asked if we are smart, pretty, athletic, musically-inclined, thoughtful, a good listener, outgoing, perceptive, spiritual, etc. we tend to base our answers upon a plethora of conditioned responses we received our whole lives. For example, someone who has been told they are pretty their whole life may very well believe that they are pretty while someone who has been told they are ugly, or who has been neglected of constructive words, may very well believe themselves to be ugly. In our world where things contrast from black and white, we have to make judgments based upon the wisdom and heart God has given us. But I have has to ask myself, "who decides the superiority/inferiority of others?" For example, are there more physically attractive people than others? Of course! or so our perception tells us. So it seems more and more that our judgments of others must be based upon WHERE our perception lies. If our perception lies upon the things that we physically see and hear and experience (empirical input), then we should recognize that there are limitations to those perceptions just as the physical world is limited. But if our minds were to penetrate into all things eternal—the spiritual world, then all things we can see will be as they truly are. As C.S. Lewis explained, “If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.” So maybe the question is not really so much, "who is pretty and who is not?" Maybe the question should be more guided into the realm of, "how can I find the beauty in everyone I meet?" Is it harder to find beauty in some people more than others? Of course! or so our perception tells us. We have to remember that we live in a finite world as infinite beings around us. There are millions of distractions and traps set by the adversary to lead us into being carnally minded. We have to remember that as Nephi taught "...to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually-minded is life eternal" (2 Nephi 9:39). So when we depend upon other's views and perceptions of who we are to determine our identity, we play the very game that Jesus warned us about in Matthew 15:14 of letting the blind lead the blind.
What does this have to do with my 37 mile journey from Rexburg to Idaho Falls? Among the myriad of voices surrounding me, that run was all about WHOSE voice I decided I would listen to more. Before we came to this Earth we, the chosen generation by God's own hand, committed to lifting the banner of truth to all and letting our light shine before the world. We are the only generation that will NEVER again be driven backwards by the Adversary—we will move forward as we promised. So my question now leads to, "how do we move forward if we do not even know who we are?!" We cannot live to our potential if we have no idea what our potential even is! We cannot know what our potential is if we listen more to what the world and the Adversary of the world tells us and less of what God has to say. So in a very real sense, to me, life is much more about
silencing the voices that surround us and tuning in to the voice of the Lord. There is no way we can wait and linger amidst public opinion in order to find our true identity; we will not last, just as I am sure I would not have had the endurance to finish what I had made a commitment to do prior to beginning my race.
Take the next right step. If you are afraid of something, doubtful about another, unsure of yourself, reluctant to call yourself a beautiful person; take the next right step and silence one voice at a time. It's not about being flamboyant or filling yourself with pride. It's about accepting the greatness that God has instilled in us! On the contrary, is it not selfish to hold back the light that He has given us from the rest of the world to see? Look at the world now; you know what they say and how well they listen. Everything is based upon finite perception and unrealistic ratings. The world limits the greatness of others, classifies, and divides.
But God unleashes the greatness in every man and woman that comes unto Him, reveals the truth about His greatest creations, and unites them with and attitude and belief of triumphant joy and gratitude. Simply said—we can do ANYTHING we put our heart and minds towards. It's not about what standards and limitations the world has created, it's about how committed and willing we are to achieve something eternal and worth fighting for. I gained nothing of worldly value for running the 37.2 miles from the Rexburg temple to the Idaho Falls temple except for a few very friendly cheers and a coupon for a 4 ounce cup of frozen yogurt (I wish I weren't lactose intolerant). The motivation for me was to simply fulfill a commitment that I made between the Lord and myself--to finish what I said I would do. But the experience has opened my eyes and brought me valuable insight that I now desire to share with all who would hear my advice as a friend. I love how much the gospel is revealed to the eye of the one whose heart and mind are single to the glory and honor of God. Let us find our identity my wonderful brothers and sisters! There has been nothing in my life more rewarding and beautiful than to see the prison bars bent, the shackles broken, and the voices of the world silenced by the individual who finds his or her true identity in this very world where God's children are "tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness..." (Ephesians 4:14). We are more than that! We are more than what we believe ourselves to be! We will never be able to comprehend our eternal worth and greatness in this life—but let us NEVER EVER come close to forgetting it!
To finish my thoughts I share with you the words of Helaman with some of my own words in order to fit the context of what I am trying to say: "And now, my [brothers and sisters], remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when [he shall demean your inner beauty, make it unacceptable to share your light and goodness, counterfeit giving glory and honor to God for the greatness you have inside of you with pride, and constantly reminds you how limited and incapable you are], [he] shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery, [depression, self-pity, and feelings of inferiority], because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men [and women] build they cannot fall." -Helaman 5:12. I find it very unique that the race I participated in began at a temple and ended at a temple—one divine location to another. Likewise each of us began our lives with our Heavenly Father and, though the stretch may be long, it will shape us to learn and become more like the edifice we all aspire to be near that we may feel God's presence. But I hope the world can better feel the presence of God when they are near each of us because we remembered who we are and began living our potential.
More and more I am coming to understand that with the blessings and gifts God has given me and the commitments I have made to Him before I came here, I am becoming a small and humbled instrument in His hands to help my brothers and sisters remember their self-worth and divine potential. I testify of all these words, that are true according to my own account and the knowledge the Holy Spirit of God has revealed to me, in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we're liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
-Marianne Williamson